How to chill a Volcano and heal a Love Explosion.

I have been blessed to be totally unconditionally in love 3 times in my life.. I know the difference between "Total Unconditional  Love" and Love.

 Love can last forever and is comfortable as was my 32 year marriage, However  "Total Unconditional Love"  is intense like a Volcano. Unpredictable and uncontrollable.  It's rare and can start with no warning,,  Pow! Their it is..

--My first husband and first love was "Total Unconditional Love," 
--Then  my rebound relationship with my popo 
-- and now another.

My first " Total Unconditional  Love" separated from me twice. The first time he left for a short time then came back. It was overwhelming for us both.
The second time he left for a lady. I was standing alone in the cold at Honeywell in Minneapolis where we all worked. He left with her,, I had to find a ride home,, I would see him with her each day,, I was finally able to pull myself together and was able to start smiling. However after about 3 months I got a call from him, He missed me and wanted to try again. In my eyes he could do no wrong,  We were inseparable again until his passing,

My second "Total Unconditional Love" was my rebound after my marriage ended,, He was a powerful man in the community and in stature.. I got to know him when I brought some death threats I had received to the PD,, We also worked at the same location on weekends. I had to be evacuated one time because of the death threats  He was my protector and let me know when danger was near, However he was my rebound and we were not to be,,, the pain was intense for about a year and I still think of him often,, 

I asked the Lord to let me have that "Total Unconditional Love" one more time. The kind where I'm crazy uncontrollably in love,, The one where all the love songs are beautiful again,, where he can do anything and I'm still on fire for him.. 

The Lord answered my prayers,, A friend and I met  a man for lunch. He was totally out of my league. However our faces passed for a moment and Pow! Their it was.. I was dazed and asked myself. "What was that?" I sat across the table from him looking at this magnificent man and feeling my chemistry going crazy,, I was shocked that I was igniting. My friend was passing notes under the table,, Be careful, Not sure about this one..
 He gave me a hug and I felt drunk,, We met several more times and the feelings were intense,  He also had strong feelings. .  However, he was hypersensitive to "love pain" and was still healing from a recent relationship and divorce and I was on fire. Scary for this awesome man  He didn't want to get burnt again and I was an uncontrollable volcano...  Can't blame him.. I was so hot my eyes were probably glowing,, and fire shooting from my ears,,, 

It was wonderful to have those feelings again for even such a short time,,  He has separated from me and I am left with this glass of pain.. Running over like a hot  uncontrollable volcano,, It's throwing me in and out of depression,, My health and happiness are now compromised,,  So its time to pull together,,

Do I still feel I love him? Yes. Will he come back? I don't know. Volcanoes are dangerous and intense,  What do you think?
But I do know life is short  and I have to find "Happy" again.. 

So girls, how do we heal?

Love grows  within and if its not nurtured  it hurts and is very painful,, I think only ladies can understand this,, How do you cap a volcano?

My formula is:
1. I pull out the old anti depressants. Yes I hate them also.. but it's necessary to numb out the chemistry

2. Make a list of why this relationship probably would never be healthy and read it whenever the pain starts and you want to text him,, You are now clingy and needy,, A pesky fly buzzing around. Time to get a handle on it,,

3. Get into the creative part of your brain,,
What is it that you can do that forces your brain to concentrate on something other than the pain?

My escape is dancing,,, I go to places with my friends where their is no drinking,,, (you don't want to pour fuel in a volcano you are trying to cool down) We have about 3 places around us,, Also on Tuesdays I teach dancing and DJ.. It is a wonderful therappe for people,, We line dance 2 step and Shag, It totally takes our minds off of  our problems for a few hours.. It uses our long term and short term memories, Improves coordination and is cardio exercise,  I watch many sad people come in and they are smiling as they leave,,

Will he heal from his own hurts and return,, I don't know,,.  I do know I have to cool down, get a handle on this volcano and force myself to find "Happy" everyday,, Life is short,, I  pray for his healing and that he finds the true and real happiness and love he so desires and deserves,,