Single Again “The Road Ahead”

By: Kenneth Stepp

Ahead of us singles lies many landmines and pitfalls. How we handle them will determine where we wind up and with whom. Does it matter? That’s up to you. For me, it matters a great deal. Spending the rest of my life alone is something I can do. Spending it with someone who loves me and I love equally would be preferred. How we land will be based on attitude, for the most part.

For 26 years I was sure I was with the person I would spend the rest of my life with. Well, it didn’t happen. It turns out that there are quite a few of us out there. Couples simply do not always remain couples, for whatever reason. To use math. Half the time, give or take a percentage. Yet we live in a society or culture that only addresses the couple angle. Not the “no longer a couple” angle. To think that around half the adult population has been overlooked says a lot about the world we live in, in America. So invested in a religious paradigm, that about half are completely ignored through one of the toughest times of their lives.

Being on your own takes on an entirely new meaning for many. Single moms with kids that are school age takes the brunt of the pain and suffering. Most have little or no help from the fathers. Most can just barely get by. Some cannot. So they are in this hand to mouth existence that can only be described as hellish and unstable. Add to that there are some that actually look down on them. They see someone unstable. I see Superwoman. I admire them and can’t imagine what it must be like to never have a break in the uncertainties of life.

“She was like a drowning person, flailing, reaching for anything that might save her. Her life was an urgent, desperate struggle to justify her life.” ― Jonathan Safran Foer

Flow…. I’m a believer that life should flow by, not flood through. Unfortunately, you will have both from time to time. I wish I had the answer to how to be ready for the flood times. But, like many things I talk about, I have more questions than answers. I believe honest people do. It seems the more I study a topic, the less I realize I know about it. This seems wrong, but many things in life are conundrums like that.

Do you catch yourself seeing people as below you sometimes? Don’t stiffen up and be offended by that question. When a filthy person in the city asks you if you have some change, do you see a valuable life? I admit I miss that mark at times. I catch myself being repulsed instead of caring for another human. It’s easier to judge at times than help. I always try to offer something. Is that adding to the problem? No, that’s simply showing you care in the smallest way on earth. Single moms that are struggling, some minute by minute, are the same way. The government will only do so much. Never enough. The economy is a wreck. Many cannot find work. If you have 3 jobs, you can’t accept a minimum wage job. Yes, because of the programs that help. The job and the program will pay about the same. But one allows you to stay home and try to find something better. Both are the mouse’s wheel. Neither is the answer at all.

Live in mercy. Offer grace. Love people, use things……

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works