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Health & Fitness

I Call It Exploring - Single Over 40, The Voids

By: Kenneth Stepp

I love people. I like engaging them in conversation, feeling them around me, and even, studying them from time to time. This obsession puts a lot of miles on my truck. It began because I’m single and have no hobbies. I have a passion for art, history, old architecture, and people. This filled every one of them. I hop in my truck, visit an historic town in Georgia, talk to shop owners, and the “man on the street”, I am a simple tourist. Snapping pictures and all. I love it.

Isn’t it funny what people add to their lives when they become single again? It’s a crazy time in one’s life until they “level out”. It can be boring. Even maddening. What filled your life before is either gone, or there are many holes. Filling voids becomes a natural act. My suggestion. Fill them carefully. Remeber. What takes your time, owns that time.

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I tried a little bit of everything. Since I came out of my rebound relationship damaged. My first thought was to date a lot. So, I did. I power dated. How unfulfilling that was. I became so time consuming, just keeping up with my POF (Plenty of Fish) account. So many emails every day, and many angry because I didn’t answer fast enough. One girl was angry because I was tanned. I still haven’t figured that one out. One day, I deleted my account and said, ENOUGH! This was getting me nowhere. I want to be happy. Isn’t that the goal we all have? I sat down and thought of what makes me happy that didn’t have to have another person to do it. This is what I came up with. I explore my way, where I want, and make all the decisions. Sweet.

Don’t get me wrong. I still hope to have my forever with me, doing things we both like to do. But, for now, I will be the Captain of my ship. Or in this case, my truck. I bought it in 2006, paid it off years ago. But, I’m attached. I’m hoping we'll be together several more years. I like it a lot.

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I have noticed that there are so many that are single, that haven’t found things to fill the time that use to belong to their partner. These people are simply lost during these silent moments of the day. At least, they seem like it. Some fill these times with negative things. Complaining about this that or the other thing. Not very good for them at all. Tough to move on when the bad things become part of daily life. Eventually, they figure it out though. Then there are the ones that fill every moment with anything. This is far worse that the aforementioned singles. Life becomes a whirlwind. They wake up Monday morning and wonder what happened to their free time. The answer is simple. There wasn’t any.

I’m sure there is a balance we can all strike. What I have found is that we all find it somewhat. Hopefully enough to keep growing, keep moving in a positive direction.For me at least. I have my explorations. My inquisitive mind gets to run at top speed. That really is why I explore. I like the energy I feel when my brain is clicking along at warp speed. Maybe I’m addicted to the racing thoughts. I have often thought this might be part of my makeup. One day we will all be in one place or the other. Partnered, single for life or single and looking (ugh!). Where we are now, will be a memory. I am determined to make it a good one. Enjoy every moment you can. When you do. Hindsight becomes a beautiful mosaic. What are you creating.

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